I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We are two peas in an std pod
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
