Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
