so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
