Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
