I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
