i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
