how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
