I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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