Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
