So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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