For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
