Someone shit on the floor
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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