i jhust puked up my retainher.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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