i jhust puked up my retainher.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
