then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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