I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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