Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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