I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
