Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
