The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I checked into jail on foursquare
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
