i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
