okay pat passed out under dana's car
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
