As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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