I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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