I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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