You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
