I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Are we still banned from the library?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
