im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i came on her dog
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
