i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
