Apparently you make a good broom.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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