Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I touched a dick in church today
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
