Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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