Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
