I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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