I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
