what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
