I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
