you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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