I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
