she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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