So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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