Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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