If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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