you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
