the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
