there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
