We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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