I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
