so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
