just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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